Oh Gosh I felt sick

Someone asked for a further discount on one of the clothing items I am selling, and I said no.

I’m breathing through this and internally screaming. I angsted in the shower, I angsted in the chat, I angsted in my computer chair, I angsted right off the batt.

She asked for a 20% discount.

This brought up so much shit for me, and I was just … the mental noise was immediate and full of voices and phrases I have heard before.

  • Just get rid of it
  • You wanted the space more than you wanted the money
  • No one cares, do what feels right
  • Make a fucking decision, do you wanna give a discount or not?
  • I hate discounts, I think they devalue the product (and me)
  • Is this a learning boundary thing, Universe? Thanks?
  • It clearly says XX in the advert, why would you offer 20% less?
  • Make a fucking decision, I am over thinking about this
  • What if she gets upset when I say no?
  • How do I say no gracefully?
  • Ok, so it sounds like I have made a decision, now… I just have to tell her what it is…
  • Why is this so hard when it’s me? I know I don’t believe in discounts, so why the mental anguish?
  • NO. ONE. CARES.
  • What if she gets upset or angry?

So a lot of the dot points above could be sorted into “My bull shit,” “Her bull shit” and “echoes from the past.” Echoes from the past is phrases and voices from other people, other memories. So if I go through them again…

  • Just get rid of it <– My BS
  • You wanted the space more than you wanted the money <– Echoes from the past
  • No one cares, do what feels right <– Echoes from the past
  • Make a fucking decision, do you wanna give a discount or not? <– My BS
  • I hate discounts, I think they devalue the product (and me) <– My BS
  • Is this a learning boundary thing, Universe? Thanks? <– My BS
  • It clearly says XX in the advert, why would you offer 20% less? <– My BS
  • Make a fucking decision, I am over thinking about this <– Echoes from the past
  • What if she gets upset when I say no? <– My BS about her BS
  • How do I say no gracefully? <– kickin’ ass here ❤
  • Ok, so it sounds like I have made a decision, now… I just have to tell her what it is… <– my BS
  • Why is this so hard when it’s me? I know I don’t believe in discounts, so why the mental anguish? <– My BS
  • NO. ONE. CARES. <– Alexis from Schitt’s creek’s voice. That episode where David is learning to drive.
  • What if she gets upset or angry? <– My BS. And what if she does? She’s on the other side of a messaging system

So I took some time over my morning coffee, oh gods yeah, she did this to me in the morning before coffee. I saw the message on my phone, so it didn’t show up as READ until I was prepared to answer. So I finally sent her my carefully caffeinated reply of ‘yeah nah mate.’

Anyway, she said “Ok! No problems, can you deliver it tomorrow.”

And I was 20% richer.

Photo by Sora Shimazaki on Pexels.com

Published by Sarah Lee Parker

Sarah P is a unique creature who writes a little or writes a lot, and loves riding the tech wave. She loves her iPad a little too much, and is currently addicted to Twitter.

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